Rules for Customers (Part 1)

I recently found this on Kathleen Wilcox's blog - I am not taking credit for this at all, she has written something profound that I think should be shared. I did however add a few ideas to hers. Here goes:



"There has been much to-do about the recent piece in the New York Times, 100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do – and while it’s a helpful tool of the trade for service staffers, there really needs to be a guide for human beings in general.

So here goes – and this applies to everyone, from Mr. Diamonds-on-the-Soles-of-His-
Shoes Oxford grad who only dines at Per Se, far far above the grubby, unwashed masses, to Mr. Down-n-Out, who only grabs his grub in the local dumpster behind the local In-and-Out Burger joint in his hood.

Please add your observations in comments below: what do your dining companions regularly do that makes your blush with indignation and question to the merits of perpetuating the human race?

9. Waiters do not exist solely to fluff up your faltering ego: Restaurant staffers should always provide impeccable, courteous service. However, licking their clients’ shoe soles or otherwise behaving as if they are 25 leagues below your lofty social status is not in fact in their job description. Getting food to your table is. This also means that the server is not there to laugh at your stupid jokes and be flattered by your lame attempts at "flirting."

8. Waiters are not typically trained at MIT to become rocket scientists only to find themselves bussing bread at their local mall caf: Restaurant staffers are paid (and not well!) to deliver food, beverages, helpful information and polite attention between the kitchen and the dining room. They are generally not geniuses who also happen to possess extra-sensory capabilities, including mind-reading. If they did, they wouldn’t be waiting tables. Adjust your expectations accordingly. Which, for example, means if you wanted split checks, you shouldn't wait until the check is dropped to lecture the server that the check should have been split.

7. On snapping and wild gesticulations: Unless you are a member of a swing band and are about to kick an impromptu concert, refrain from snapping your fingers at the staff or generally making wild check-signing mimes from across the room. Also, do not whistle, yell "hey you" or make that hissing sound that cats make to get your servers attention. The server ALWAYS tells you their name - USE IT!!!

6. Substitutions: If your order requires you to substitute or deviate from an item on the menu in more than two ways, order something else.

5. PDAs: Do not, under any circumstances, take a phone call, text or surf the Web while at the dinner table. And DO NOT make your server wait for you to finish your conversation to tell them you would like an ice tea - they probably have six other things to do at the moment and don't have time to wait for you to tell your Aunt Nancy you are winning big in Vegas. GET OFF THE DAMN PHONE!

4. Out of control tots: Children should be seen and not heard at non-family focused restaurants. They certainly shouldn’t be running amok, drooling on other customers, practicing their karate or sitting on, under or astride the table. Especially if it’s not their family’s. There. I said it!

3. Sending food back: If your food is totally gross, by all means send it back – you’re paying to be fed well. But don’t send back a medium rare steak if you ordered a medium rare steak. NB: Rare meat should be red and cool in the center; medium-rare should be warm but still very pink; well should resemble a hockey puck. Also, don't send back your food because "it tasted different than I expected," or "I didn't realize that there were carrots in it." GROW UP AND DEAL WITH IT!

2. About the failure to check coats: I get that we’re all cutting back in all kinds of crazy ways these days, but if you know you’re dining at the sort of place that offers a coat check, cough up the extra $1 in tip you’ll spend tipping the poor coat-checker gal.

1. Asking waiters what to order: Don’t do it. Asking for recommendations (with guidelines on your likes and dislikes) is one thing – but asking them point blank “What’s good?” isn’t going to get you anywhere. How do they know what you like to eat?"
I personally think that asking a server what is good gives the customer an excuse to send it back and not pay. I have refused to say what is good anymore because 90% of the time the customer never orders what I say, or the other 10% send it back. YOU ARE AN ADULT- PICK WHAT YOU LIKE! The server is not there to hold your hand through the process.

But, we are just waitresses.... what do we know?