Riding the wave with Bourdain & Ripert

Chef Bourdain & Ripert "riding the wave"

"Think about this the next time you reach into your wallet for a tip..." - Anthony Bourdain

This is not a lounge, this is a restaurant!

How long do you think is too long after you have ordered anything other than a water refill before you decide to "give up your table" for the next patron that is on a wait to sit and eat? 10 minutes? I could give you some generosity and maybe even say 20 minutes. But sitting in a 10 seater booth with your friend and ordering one appetizer and water after water after water refill for over 2 hours is inconsiderate to the people waiting for a table and to your server who makes money off of how many people they can serve and how much they can serve in a night.
So, If you ever find yourself sitting in a crowded restaurant on, a say, Friday/Saturday/Sunday football shift... you better be ordering food and drinks. YOUR TAB SHOULD REFLECT THE TIME YOU'VE SPENT IN THE ESTABLISHMENT.
AKA: If you've been there for almost 4 hours, you shouldn't have a $27 bill - BUT if you do, you had better tip well. And when I say well, factor in the server could have turned the table 4 times in 4 hours (so tip for those four tables they didn't get) while you talked about how "much you hate Cindy in accounting"...
But I'm just a waitress... what do I know?

...And the Rest On The Card

If you are the group that pays half cash (for one group of diners) and "the rest on the card." -
The dude with the credit card tip line is TIPPING FOR HIS HALF... THE CASH DUDE BETTER PUT CASH IN THE BOOK FOR A TIP

IF NOT - the only tip the server gets is from the credit card.

Example:
$100 bill for 2 people
person #1 puts $60 in cash in
person #2 puts the rest on his card...
What should person #2 tip?
If you say $20 - you are right!!!
BUT usually person #2 tips on his amount on the card: $40, which means for a $100 bill, the server gets
an $8 tip TOTAL!!!

Person with cash, it is your responsibility in this situation to make sure that the server gets tipped what they deserve. If this means that you must put yourself in the position to ask your "friend" you are eating with if they tipped on the whole bill - do so! If you fell comfortable sitting and eating with a person, you should be able to feel comfortable making sure the bill is paid properly.

Most intelligent people might be asking, why is she blogging about this. Thank you for being the 10% of people who do not do this. If you are thinking "wow, I never thought of that!" - now think of every server you have stiffed and make up for it the next time you go out to eat!
On that note, I might be working tonight. Come and find me, I would love to "forgive you" for your past sins.

But, I'm Just a Waitress... What Do I Know?!

In Honor of Veterans Day

DISCLAIMER: If you are a military family on a budget and you eat out according to that budget and your average tip is between 15%-20% YOU DO NOT NEED TO READ PAST THIS! If this does not describe your military family, read on, please, as Uncle Sam says "We Want You" to read and learn.

As most of my blogs start, I am going to tell you one story. This one story is an example to help illustrate a trend in the F&B world. I would not be telling this story if it were an isolated incident. This is an example of something that happens a little too often. Enjoy.

When a young couple comes in and orders an obscure/fabulous beer and a non-common drink - I think "awesome, these guys are going to be fun!" When I ask for their I.D.s and see military... well, I will let the story do the "talking." I gladly get their drinks in, let them know about the specials describe a delicious appetizer and then take their order. The lady gets a soup to start, one of our best seafood dishes (she's got great & expensive taste) and then asks for no tomatoes on her dish. This dish doesn't have tomatoes on it to start with, so I politely ask her if she has an allergy because usually when someone makes a request like that - they have an allergy.
*** It's like ordering a hamburger and asking for no chicken on it... it doesn't make sense at all, but if you have an allergy, maybe you mean "don't have the chef touch chicken and then touch my hamburger." (This is me making a CRAZY analogy for a CRAZY request... again I am trying to give my military personal the benefit of the doubt)***
She, of course doesn't have an allergy, she just needs to make sure to tell me she "hates tomatoes" even though she has ordered a dish without any tomatoes, tomato sauce, it actually doesn't have anything red or any fruit in it at all!!! I'm a professional, so I tell her, of course we will not put tomatoes on it and I even go so far as to let the chef know she has an allergy to tomatoes (just in case he cross contaminated while cooking and she got a whiff of tomatoes on her plate).
He orders our most expensive fillet. He orders it at an appropriate temperature for a steak - because let's face it, there is nothing worse than someone taking a beautiful fillet, asking for it butterflied and well done!

Gosh - I digress... I know why I am, too. I am stalling because I don't want to say what is so obvious to us in the F&B world : No Matter What Service the "Service" Guest is not going to tip you what you deserve...
Okay - back to the story.
They eat their dinner, we politely chat about their plans for the night - going to a movie, etc. I suggest a dessert - she already has her eye (stomach) on one. She wants ice cream with it - it comes with it - it's in the menu description. I DO NOT correct her, I just let her know, of course we will do that for her. They love it! They loved everything!
Then the question I've been waiting for - I know what it is and I know the answer.... "Do you give a military discount? Because he is a firefighter/air force and he is deploying in December and this is our last date night before he leaves." AHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOO! I am mortified, we do not give a discount, I want their night to be special, I have worked really hard to make their night smooth and fun. Now I have to ruin the whole thing by telling them no.
Well, to my surprise, they weren't mad at all when I broke the news. She said "Oh, that's okay, we just like to ask, just in case you do." WOW! I got off easy on that one. Usually the response is not that kind. Usually, I feel like it's my fault, the server, that the management/owner/person-that-never-has-to-deal-with-actual-customers has made a rule and I have to enforce it. I am pro-people who serve others, even when I don't agree with their boss/company. So, to have to tell someone who serves other people, they can't get a discount because of it isn't fun for me...

You would think that this story has a happy ending, since they had a great night and I had cool guests, right?!    
..... $78 bill & a $6 tip.
Thank you for Serving my Country, could you thank me for my service for the evening?

But, I'm Just A Waitress... What Do I Know?!

They'll go down in History....

But, I'm Just a Waitress...What do I Know?!

Love it when Rich people do this!

So, I'm pretty sure that Oprah rules the World. It is also a FACT that she has a huge following of people that think her word is god and that she can do know wrong. I am now going to do something that is equivalent to saying the Pope, or Jesus, or the President is wrong: OPRAH does not care about you, she cares about your money and she cares about her own power...

Oprah recently said that in this economy it is "OK" to tip 10%. I am pretty sure she did not put a disclaimer on this statement, for example: "It is "OK" to tip 10% if you get sub-par service" or "It "OK" if you only saw your server 2xs during the meal - 1. to take the order 2. to secure payment."
Nope, she just sat on her customized, diamond encrusted high horse and made a statement that just gave every cheap-o Oprah following Sheep justification to under pay for services rendered.

I am actually shocked that someone who pretends to care about the less fortunate and gives funding and gifts to the "less fortunate" would fathom that it is right to give someone $3 for serving a party of 4 for an hour!

So, I have tried to come up with a reason for why Oprah would be so careless. Here are some of my theories:
1. She does have a private chef, and I am sure he gets paid salary - so she doesn't have to worry about tipping him.
2. Oprah lives in Oprah-Land where everything she says and does is right because no one would ever tell her that she is wrong.
3. When Oprah does go out to eat, you know that "B" is not going to a chain that you can get a meal for around $10-$15. NO! This lady is eating in restaurants that don't have prices on the menu, the chef is probably making her something off menu especially for her. She is probably rolling with an entourage of people and her bills are in the thousands of dollar range. So, If you get 10% of 2k - $200 tip for one table isn't bad - BUT it still should have been $400! You know Oprah is modifying dishes, sending stuff back if it doesn't "taste the way she wants it to taste" ordering food off the menu for her dogs, etc.
4. Wait staff is probably so nervous to serve her, things might go wrong here and there because, let's face it, that lady is intimidating and would scare the S out of anyone.

So, this is me, trying to give Oprah a break, give her the benefit of the doubt... Now, if she could do the same for all the people out there trying to make a living in the F&B world.
Are you a Server/Bartender, etc? Are you as outraged as I am that the most powerful woman in TV - and one of the richest people on the planet is making you poorer? I AM! Thank God this is her last season, and if you watch her and let her influence you to make bad decisions, shame on you!

BUT, I'm Just a Waitress...What do I know?

The "S" I say sometimes...

Keeping it light, just so it doesn't seem like my job is completely miserable.

I love serving one dish at my work. And just to keep my place of business anonymous, let's just say it is a pie with turkey in a pot... and it is HUGE.

So one day while serving the dish - and everyone who is presented with is always has the same reaction - OMG!!! THAT'S HUGE!!! - but one day I served the dish and a man said "Is there a whole turkey in there or what?!"
This gem just automatically jumped out of my mouth, almost as if I had no control over my brain, lips and vocal cords. I said:
 "There IS a whole turkey in there and in a second he is going to jump out and say "Happy Birthday!"
I was imagining a girl jumping out of a cake, which then translated into a turkey... my brain does these things sometimes. The kind man just gave me a sympathy chuckle and I walked away laughing at my joke and mortified at my joke simultaneously...

The "S" I say sometimes is better than just saying "enjoy your meal." (Or at least I think so....)

BUT, What do I Know...I'm Just A Waitress?!